Retrospective: Breaking Down The Fourth Wall

Did I use that word correctly?
*googles*
...Okay. Yes. Good.

Now, with Mumford and Sons in my ears, and the rap from The Fresh Prince of Belair stuck in my head, lemme tell you about how my world got flipped, turned upside down...

Gah. Get a life, Will Smith.

This is kind of the wrap-up post for Directed Studies. It's due tomorrow, so there's that. There's probably going to be a post-script for the unit next week, because this weekend is Supanova and I think I should review how that goes for various reasons.

Okay.

At the beginning of semsester, when I kind of started wrapping my head around what Directed Studies was going to look like, I basically went "I would like to make costumes"

Subsequently, I planned out this sweeping grandeur of outfits, and had in my head that I was going to get four high-caliber costume out, in spite of the fact that on average I only have enough time and sanity and money to create on average one per year. And I was going to do all of this in a semester, plus some work experience.

Never let it be said that I don't have ambition at the start of a project.

Now, the thing that I didn't check or understand fully at the start of the project was the concept of time. See, I finished the first costume in good time, and then I had some delays getting the pattern sorted for the Halo armour. And the website that I was consulting about all of this had mentioned that it would take me about 300 hours to complete, but that didn't register in my head as a comprehensible amount of time when I first read it. I kind of just looked at it, and broke 300 hours down as 'two and a half weeks, working every day for eight hours'

You can't understand what kind of time that takes until you are in the middle of it. To my folly. The armour took so much longer than initially expected, that it effectively swallowed up my other two projects, and about fifty percent of the time I would have spent on another course. Probably more.

But. It's finished, and at least ready for marking tomorrow. I finished it yesterday morning, and immediately went out and got photos. Props to Micah for that. They look Spectacular.

I feel a little odd about it, because...well, because every time I go to make a cosplay, I hop on DeviantArt and check out what other people have done. They end up posting these absolutely radical, professional looking things, and when the photos were done, I was looking at something which had a caliber equal to those outfits. I was a little weirded out and chuffed at the same time.

So there's that.

Now you know what I planned to do, and what I actually did. Now lemme tell you about what I want to do next.

Supanova is this weekend. I'm planning to, after Tuesday, make a rifle for the outfit so I have somewhere to store my things while I'm walking around (No pockets for Tex. I'll just make the stock and cartridge hollow in the rifle and put my things in there). I also entered into the cosplay competition at Nova, because it's kind of worth seeing how my thing stacks up against everything else. I mean, I'm still expecting the mad freakout because everyone else in the advanced category will have radical stuff too. And I can't enter the novice category because I've been making costumes a while. I've just got to step up my game.

Also, I can't enter Tex in any Animania competition for cosplay, because she's not from an anime, manga or video game. Which is a pity but hey.

But there wasn't such stipulations for Nova. So I may as well see what I can do.

Now. Future stuff.

I'm still keen for an internship bout in the film industry. I just ran out of time for it in Directed Studies. I'm currently looking at options for taking some next semester. And by that I mean 'incredibly flat out, will start looking as soon as I can start working at normal times again'

Can I talk about that for a moment? Since Semester classes ended, I've pretty much been working until 2 or 3 in the morning, and then packing up and sleeping in. It's a weird method, but it works. Until your dad needs you to go and get an ignition coil from somewhere in Newie, and you've gotta get there at 8. Or you have an assessment date to meet on Monday at 10am. And you find it difficult waking up before 10.
Then you're in trouble.

*sighs*

I still want to get to make costumes for (probably) film. If I had the choice, I'd probably stick with the idea that The Beta Experiment was kind of looking at: That essentially, all of my projects are prototypes and they don't usually get past the Beta phase because I only make one-offs. I can think of next or exciting ways to make the things easier next time (So, I now have patterns for the armour if I ever want to make them again, and if I could, I would probably make them in fibreglass. Which would be easier to mass-produce, because I could just make one mould and cast from that.)
I love creating things, and I love designing things, and I can do either of those, but I have stacks of fun when I get to do both. So designing and prototyping my stuff is probably the best outlet at this point in time. I guess in a way I tend more towards the manufacture side of things though, because the cosplays are already determined in their aesthetic appearance. I just have to figure out how to make the ruddy things work. It's brilliant.

If I was better at maths, and had enough time to keep studying, I'd go do engineering or something.

*laughs manically*

So, how do I feel at the end of this shebangabang?

I think, in spite of the time-consuming-ness of the armour, I'm happy with it. I'm satisfied with everything that went in to the project, and I'm satisfied with how it turned out. I've got plans on tuning up both of the costumes that I made anyway, and will probably get onto them sometime in the near future.

(Invest in a morphsuit for the Hollow, so I never have to worry about paint flaking off)
(See if I can improve the mobility of the armour. Once everything is on, I no longer have the option of scratching my nose currently.)

I'm also really tired, because this course demanded a lot, and I gave a lot. But it was a good a lot.

In first year, I visited some friends who at the time lived out in the glasshouse mountain country in southern Queensland. One of the days we were out there (there was a few of us) we climbed one of the mountains; Mount Tibrogargan (best. name. ever.)
And it toasted me. I was so worn out by the time we got to the top. And then we saw the view.

And that made it completely worth it. Even if all we'd brought to eat were peanuts.

That's kind of what it's been like doing Directed Studies. I've had fun. I hope that everyone following the blog has had fun too.

...

This blog will, probably in the near future, go back to being my standard blog. I'll still end up writing heaps about making cosplays and stuff, but Directed Studies is just about finished, and so am I.

There's still a bit for me to get done before things are ready for tomorrow. I'll hop to it.

Brooke out.

Thinking out loud

Bear with me guys, I've got an assessment for Directed Studies due tomorrow, and I was going to write it this weekend.

And then I got sick on Sunday. My head feels like a Cadbury Cream Egg, and I have no real desire to go to class this afternoon. Time to get stuff done.

So this is kind of like getting the assessment straight. It's a recap of where Breaking Down the Fourth Wall has been and where it's going. And somehow I need to jam it all into a five-minute speech with a power point.

Actually, consider this the extended edition. Hopefully it makes sense.

Overview:
Breaking Down the Fourth Wall is presented in studio brief format, with physical pieces and extensive documentation and research. It's an investigation into costume design; particularly the niche culture of Cosplay, and presents theoretical and physical results.

Translation: Uni project about Cosplay. Finished product is a few cosplays with extensive documentation on concepts, theory and techniques.

Things about costume and Cosplay in particular that are interesting:
The idea of assuming an identity already determined and presented by someone else.
The theory and implications of assuming identities of these pre-existing characters and how that relates to the self. (e.g. My fascination with the Hollow because it reminds me of my own shortcomings)
Meeting complete strangers and becoming buddies because you don't need to introduce yourself.
Is the output of Cosplay original?

Meanwhile, Brooke fills up the web browser with Anchor & Braille YouTube tabs and sneezes again.

The original plan for Breaking Down the Fourth Wall:
Was nuts. I'll go over the things that have changed, and then what's left.
Initially, I had three projects in mind, that would have an output of four costumes done at a professional level, plus work experience.
I dropped one of the projects, changed some dates on the schedule for other stuff, and have decided to do work experience next semester.

Sorry, Aerith. Some other thirty seconds.

The projects that are left are:

The Sequel Machine (Parts A and B)
This project looks at the idea of creating something from an already-established design. I mean, that's kind of the point of Cosplay, but explaining this with movies or on an industrial scale with someone who doesn't know about cosplay means you have to take a different route. Comic-book hero movies are a prime example of this, as well as sequels and reboots - you have an established design for the character. The challenge actually lies in satisfying the look and feel of the character without traipsing into unrealistic outfits or upsetting the pre-existing fanbase too much.

Part A of The Sequel Machine was taking a pre-existing costume and making it better (The Hollow) - similar to how a sequel looks compared to the original movie. Part B is redesigning and creating an outfit that I've made before, but remaking it entirely and doing it better (Which will be Sheik from the Zelda franchise).

First rendition

Sequel Machine. Photo credit: Travis Lin

The Beta Experiment
Beta is a look into how pretty much every costume I make is a one-off. With the exceptions of the Weeping Angels, I've never made more than one of a costume, and never sorted them out for wide-scale production, partly because cost, partly because time. I guess there's also a mindset in there that wants the work to be individual, and progressing, which is why I don't usually revisit stuff often.

The Beta Experiment is my more intense unit - it'll be Agent Texas from the series Red vs. Blue. Better explained to those unfamiliar as armour from the Halo games (although it erks me a little whenever I explain that and they immediately go 'oh, Master Chief.' I know it's the only identification that they might have, but Master Chief is Jim's planned set. Tex is way cooler.)

Waaaaaay cooler,

I had planned to finish Beta much earlier in term, but it took longer than expected to get the patterns together. I'm hoping to have it finished in the next couple of weeks. I know that I can probably knock over the Sheik outft in a week or two, if I forgo sleep.

I guess the plan is to blog all of this - the techniques and conceptual journey at least, as well. With photos and stuff to allow everyone else to see what I'm doing.

Did I mention how amazing foam smells when you unwrap it? Only when it's fresh. Heat-sealing it is super-smelly business.

So that's kind of the overview done.

Where am I up to now?

Well, if you've not been up to date,
I've finished the work with the Hollow, and took it to a convention about a month ago to see how it compared to the rest of the stuff being competed. Didn't win anything, but still looked mad. Got covered in paint an already have a few more ideas in place to make it better next time (Invest in a morph suit, do the nails better, glass eyes for the mask)
The paper patterns for the Halo armour are about 90% done - I've got to finish the handplate and belt. I chopped up the shin this weekend and transferred it over to high-density foam, and have nearly cut it all out. I plan to do some more shaping with a knife, heatgun and soldering iron, and otherwise have to glue it into a 3D form with hot glue.
And I'm blogging like crazy.
And I got sick yesterday.

Okay, you're pretty much up to date.

I had originally planned to take the finished Halo armour to Ironfest (which was not the weekend just past, but the one before). Since this didn't happen, I'm planning on taking it to Sydney Supanova, and every costume party I go to forever afterwards. Provided it isn't too hot.

See, the black suit business I got to go under the armour is a wetsuit. I'm planning to cut big vent holes in it, but am still a little worried about heat exhaustion. Still, I wanted a wetsuit, or neoprene for this. Could have gone with tights/skivvy or a morphsuit, but I particularly wanted something that would have the visual texture and feel of something that was supposed to be worn with one-tonne-space-marine-armour. And a wetsuit is kind of the closest you can get. Plus, they suck your gut in for you.

ANYWAY.

What else do I need to fill you/the lecture room in on for tomorrow?

Ah.

Because this is Fine Art, it always strengthens your point to include actual fine artists in the thing.

This is the work of a guy called Ricky Swallow

There are a few things you should know about this piece. It's called Killing Time, was made in 2003-2004, entirely by the artist (as opposed to guys like Jeff Koons and Daniel Hirsch, who employ minions), is life size, and was carved from one piece of wood.

Pick your jaw up off the floor and have a look at a few of his other works:

http://www.rickyswallow.com/portfolio/work/index/

I had Swallow introduced to me because he creates all his stuff himself, makes stuff that is life size/to scale, and creates things that look like they should be made out of something else.

Seriously, when I was shown this work:

Come Together, 2002

My first thought was pretty much 'I wish to jump in that beanbag.'
My second thought was 'That is made out of wood and will not be soft. It is a lie of softness, like every time you used to jump on the demo beds at Spotlight.'

I was a terror at Spotlight as a small child.

But yeah. That beanbag, regardless of the skull that looks casually thrown in, as opposed to carved from the wood, is pretty much the same size and shape as one we had when I was a kid at Hannem Vale. It was this big black vinyl thing that Dad had, and would get sticky when you sat in it in summer. I think it was the place I used to hide under when we played hide and seek since it was so enormous. I got sat on more than once.

So yeah. Things that look like they're made out of other things.

And then I found one of the earlier sets of works that Ricky Swallow had done.

YAHHHHHHHH The book's in at uni grherksgnhouhn[aofrkgh
...you can see it later.

Basically, one of the first things that Swallow did that got his name out were these tape decks and hi-fi systems from the 70s and 80s, reproduced perfectly in cardboard.

Sounds a little familiar...

So yeah. There is a fine artist, making stuff that looks like it's made out of other stuff.
Which is kind of what I do with the costume business, since it's not cost-effective, time-effective or comfortable to make full space-marine armour out of legit materials/metal/whatever the Mjolnir armour is supposed to be made from. Not to mention I do not possess the crafting skills.

So costume is a kind of halfway thing. We figure out how to make paper look like bone, and foam to look like metal. It's fitting, since the idea of a costume is playing pretend anyway.

And then there's this Korean sculptor named Lee Bul, who does these mad-gnarly cyborg things that look like they're from a cyberpunk anime. It's the shapes that are interesting here, I think.

Lee Bul, Vanish (Purple White Cyborg Torso), 2001

There are others, but they're troublesome to find. I'll scan a couple in from the books.

Yeah. Like, these are cool artworks, and they're about the body and the cyborg and perfection and imperfection and they really just remind me that one day I want to do an Appleseed cosplay. Or maybe just build Briarios' head and have it sitting somewhere.

http://browse.deviantart.com/art/Briareos-Hecatonchires-88166949
Artist credit because I remember where I found that.

That doesn't sound like a half bad idea actually, aside from how creepy a disembodied head would be with glowing eyes in someone's apartment. I could talk to it though.

So yeah.

Now you know what I had planned, and where I'm going now, and what I'm doing, and where I'm up to, and also that there's fine artists that have done stuff that's similar to what I do.

Brilliant.

I've now got about an hour fifteen minutes before I have to be somewhere. SLEEPCOMEHERE. PICTURES, WHY YOU TAKE SO LONG TO FIND?

P.S.
To my friends I see in everyday life. It means a lot when you mention that you read the blog. It says that you put time and effort into reading something I wrote, or that you found it engaging. This is not a note to remind people to say it more often, or to pressure people into feedback or whatever.
It's just letting you know I appreciate it.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I was going to title this blog post something intelligent, like 'progress for the Beta Experiement' or whatever, and then realised that there was a much more succinct way of expressing what was going on at the current time.

See, I'm still constructing the patterns for Tex, and Ironfest is not this weekend, but next.

I'm still to cut up the patterns, transfer them to foam, cut and shape the foam, construct the armour, paint the armour and modify the wetsuit I bought to wear under the armour.

I mean, last week it was all fine. I was on break, fighting the printer. Suddenly, I'm not sleeping properly and working entire days sticking paper together and hoping it will come together in time.

And my weekend's pretty much booked out.

Not sure what I'm doing at this stage. I think it's mostly just putting my head down and trying not to think about the deadline too much. Everything else is kind of on hold, and I really just want some sleep.

Now that I've whinged to the internet about current standings, let me give you a diagnostic on how things are at the moment:

I've completed the patterns for the forearm, shoulder, thigh, shin and head. I'm halfway through the boot, and have been saving the hand for later, since it's the smallest piece. I haven't started the belt or the breastplate. Started that yesterday.

"Oh. Hey, Lopez. How'd you get there?"

Dunno man, the chest piece just freaks me out. I know that there's like six pages of struts in there, but it was still a thirty-one page document. I'm going to die.

Let me walk you through how I make the paper armour, before I lose all sense and reason and find a corner of the library to curl up and cry/sleep in.

Uh, yeah. I'm writing from the uni library at the moment. So this post is being constructed and designed for photos, but all of those are at home. I'll have them up shortly. (Better now).

The process actually starts with a software program called Pepakura. It's a Japanese-designed program and can be downloaded for free. It's for papercraft - folding paper into 3D forms. Well, Pepakura and the files for the armour.

http://www.tamasoft.co.jp/pepakura-en/
If you want to get it.

Pepakura has a freeware version, and then just has the ability to save/export files disabled. So, I load the files into Pepakura, rescale them and rearrange them for printing.

It's important to address how I scale things at this stage.

...

See, your standard Spartan from the game Halo is something like seven foot tall. I am not seven foot tall, and had to scale the patterns so they'd fit. To accomplish this, I started with a turnaround.

A turnaround is an image of a character in a neutral pose, viewed from the front, back and side. One of these is generally used when showing the basics of a character or their outfit. They're used in gaming and a bunch of other things. I make them occasionally to make sure that I know what I'm doing with a costume. In the fashion industry, they're comparable to technical flats, which are the final drawings given to a pattern maker before they get to designing the thing.

I measured (In cm) how tall the turnaround was when printed out onto an A4 page, and then worked out the scale needed to match it up to my height. Then I applied that scale to the armour pictured in the turnaround. This meant that I could figure out a rough estimate on the maximum length (y-axis) of the armour pieces. I checked this by grabbing a ruler occasionally and making sure that yes, having a forearm piece that was 26cm long was going to work for me, and then rescaled the pattern pieces with this in mind.

It's a technique that is difficult for me to explain, but is really simple in application and use. I figured it out back in year 8 so I could make tiny medieval weapons to scale for a school assignment.

Anyway.

So, the patterns were rescaled, and then reshuffled to allow for printing, and then I proceeded to have a fight with every printer I could come into contact with. I solved this problem when I went home for the Easter break, and printed out the whole lot.

Then I got to work on the 3D bit.

I kept the individual documents separate, to avoid mixing up pages from different patterns, and things kind of went like this:

1. Cut piece from pattern sheet

2. Fold all lines on piece

3. Glue down any tabs that stick to the single piece

4. Pick a couple numbers (usually ones next to each other) on the piece and go look through the document for ones that correspond. Or stick the piece to the main body, if it wasn't the first piece to be cut out.

5. Consult your sulking fish.

I learned a couple of things along the way that actually made things a lot more livable.

1. Only cut out a many pieces as you can manage at one time (One most of the time. Two if the second piece was also visible and immediately stuck to the first piece)

2. Try and just build the individual pieces onto one form. If you can help it, you want to avoid multiple pieces floating around that you have to work on.

3. Scan for a couple of numbers as opposed to just one. Don't focus too heavily on the individual numbers; speed read the pages. Two-digit numbers are actually the easiest as most of the patterns have at least a few hundred glue tabs (The breastplate, for the record, has over 1400. TT.TT )

So, I start sticking things together, and usually have headphones in. In spite of the tediousness of the folding, and the enormity of the project, it's actually kind of meditative to do it. Cut, fold, stick, press. Snicker at whatever is going on with the podcast I'm listening to and keep going.

Probably the most rewarding part of the process, aside from actually having a finished item in your hand, is the point where you suddenly recognise what part of the armour you're working on. So, you might have a vague idea of where you're starting from, but there comes a point further down the track where the spatial reasoning part of your brain remembers what it is you are constructing and you get to see it. And that is actually my favourite part of any costume-making process. Getting to see what the final thing will actually end up looking like while it's still in the process of being made. Progress and stuff.

Ugh. What was it? I had something in mind that was also about the process, and now I can't remember what it was. This is going to drive me nuts.

Well, at least for the next little bit. It's 1:22 AM because I got back from a bible study thing at 10:30 and had drive, so kept working on things.

GAH. COME ON, Brain. Get it together.

Oh. Do you know how satisfying it is to finish punching all the pieces of a pattern out of one sheet of the document? Because, like I mentioned earlier, the breastplate is 31 pages of document, and when I finish chopping out all the pieces in one page, it's an amazing feeling. That's one less page I do not have to scan when I'm looking for the next piece.

BOO YEAH!

THAT WAS WHAT I'D FORGOTTEN!

As you progress through a piece, eventually you get to be able to see what chunk you need next. The search field is able to be narrowed as you scan for something that's vaguely triangle-shaped and things become a lot easier to find.

...

I'm realising, as this is being written over three separate sessions, that there's a lot of things I type in that are often made redundant. I leave these in because it makes things more entertaining. I think? If it doesn't, you need to let me know.

This segue is kind of important, because I realised something important and a little sad over the last three days.

We had a crew of four coming to Ironfest. And then two of them had to drop out, because being a uni student with a job often means you have to work weekends. One of those folks is the spearhead of this trepidation. So, that's kind of put a lid on whether we can or can't go to Ironfest.

I'm a bit sad about this, since the costumes we took last year were popular enough to warrant bringing back this year, and fit the title perfectly. Plus, you know, I spent weeks at the beginning of the year telling everyone how I was going to make Halo armour to take to Ironfest (so I couldn't chicken out), and now I can't go.

But in all honesty, it's probably a little bit helpful. The pace I'd have to get this sucker done at is faster than I can manage (and I usually make stuff at a pretty fast pace anyway), and I can't afford to go. Probably better to save time and money and sanity and take this to Supanova or something.

I dunno. Is it cold at Supanova? I'm going to be wearing a modified wetsuit under the armour and I don't want to get heat exhaustion.

And somehow, I know that this is all justification. Trying to make feel better about backing out of something I said I'd do, and I hate having to do that.

That said, I'm not going to be slowing down on the costume a whole lot. I still have one more for Directed Studies to make, and it's going to be a big procrastination tool otherwise. Generally, if I have a thing to do that will cause procrastination, the best outcome is to bury myself in it and get it over and done with.

It usually results in withdrawals, but hey. I need to get this project finished.

Group photo progress shot.

I guess one of the other, on-the-side advantages to giving myself a little more time to finish the Beta Experiment is that I won't be worn out when it's finished and at the convention. Being worn out can be a problem. The upside is that I might even have enough time to train a little, so I can at least partially sell the movements of the character.

Anyone feel like teaching me a bit of MMA before Supanova?

That'd be a laugh.

Trying to catch up/Introducing the Beta Experiment

Today is Easter Saturday.

I went to bed at about 2am, and woke up late. Played computer for a few hours after I got up and then went into town, hopes held high that I could find all the bits I needed for the redux on the Weeping Angels that I'm doing with my mates.

Hopes fell. It was not my best day, and mostly consisted of driving around and not finding the plaster bandage that we need to redo the masks. There's like, one shop I know of in Newcastle that stocks the stuff - a two-dollar type thing that's down the road from my house. They didn't have any in stock. I tried spotlight, and failed, and tried Eckersley's, and couldn't even find the shop.

Filled with sads, I gave up on the bandage and went to bunnings, determined to be able to tick off at least one thing on the list. Finding mop heads, bondcrete and gap filler made things a little better. And then I remembered that there was ice cream at home, and maybe splurged a little.

It's now 7pm, and I'm sitting in the loungeroom, in winter flanno pjs, sucking down water because ice cream headaches are your own fault. The lights are off, and I'm staring into the soft white glow of my laptop screen, relying on the light spilling onto my keyboard and the touch-typing skills that I picked up in NaNo to write.

The house is very quiet - housemate is at a music festival. Just my music and the tattoo of the keyboard.

Anyway. Consider that the ice-breaking story for the day. I'm being a little quiet, and a little by myself, and I've not done the blog post for this week for Directed Studies. (Yes, I posted yesterday, but that wasn't in my plans for Directed Studies; it was more like something that happened along the way.)

So, this video tab has been sitting open on my browser for ages. Thought now would be a good time to talk about my next project.

N

You forgot the 'n', Gerard Butler.

Historical inaccuracies and the hilarity of having a man with a Scottish accent play a Spartan aside, my project has nothing to do with 300, or Sparta.

Spartan, though...

Last year, I made the foolish decision to start watching Red vs Blue. I mean, it's entertaining, and clever, but I got hooked and spent far too much time watching it when I could have been working.

Requirements:
Lots of Internet
Lots of Time
Understanding for internet humour
High tolerance for foul language

Win some, lose some.

The character Tex was appealing. The Halo Spartan armour was appealing. The job was something ridiculously impossible looking.

It was really only a matter of time before I took the project.

Why was it that Tex was appealing? How she fit in with the story, I guess. She starts off as a mercenary, and then you find out all sorts of interesting backstory that is...yeah. Interesting, and cool, and a little bit sad. She's a formidable fighter as well. (I'll probably end up putting her backstory into the documentation for Directed Studies rather than here. Spoilers. Blah blah blah.)

The thing that was kind of stopping me from taking on the project was uni. Mostly because it would be a big one, so I'd either need a lot of time or some way to actually incorporate it into my course. And then Directed Studies came along.

And I began the Beta Experiment.

Um.

Etymology.

At least according to Wikipedia. "In computing the term "beta" is used as (usually) the last pre-release in the software release life cycle. It is sometimes referred to as 0.x in version numbers or x.x bx where x represents a number."

So, the draft for your assignment or project that is titled "final_last_absolute_last_2.0_FINAL" before you go and rename the thing to send to your assessor? That's the Beta. The last version before the production model.

Beta is relevant because of the nature of the project, and Beta is relevant because of the nature of the character. I can only address one of these without referring to things that are a bit spoiler-ish in nature, so if, for whatever reason, you choose to familiarise yourself with the RvB universe, Beta becomes clear enough eventually.

Beta is an exploration into how I do things. I mean, I'm pretty good with figuring things out. But I always come out at the end of a project and go, 'this would have been easier if I'd done this and this and this...' And because all of my costumes are one-offs, they're never slated or made in a way that's suitable for production. My costumes are fun, and I love making them, but they're never cost-effective. I have friends ask if I could make this or that, and I usually end up directing people to a source that's better than mine. I mean, I could make costumes for other people. But I take too long doing them by themselves, and would end up feeling really bad about charging a price that would accurately reflect the amount of time put in.

So generally, my costumes are all left at the beta stage. There are some that I get to revisit (See 'The Sequel Machine' and also the post about the Weeping Angels. Ironfest is coming and we're getting the band back together.) but for the most part, once I make a costume, that's it.

This project kind of deals with that. Not as a problem. Not as something that glorifies that in-between state of imperfection (because that is something I find simultaneously fascinating and infuriating. Like having a picture hung just a couple degrees shy of straight). Just the ness of the state, if that makes sense.

I don't know if it's making sense. I started writing this post on Saturday night and it's now Tuesday. I've gone home, and my sisters are alternating between beatboxing and trying to get me to look at different things on the interwebs.

At the moment Prue's talking about the activity on her Tumblr. Something about Daryl Dixon and a dramatic zombie.

ANYWAY. BETA.

BETA PROJECT IS ABOUT HOW I'M NOT ABLE TO PRODUCE COSTUMES THAT CAN BE SOLD AT THE KIND OF PRICE A PLEB WOULD PAY FOR SOMETHING. THAT'S WHY THEY BUY STUFF MADE OUT OF POLYESTER FROM ASIA.

Thinking is at the moment, something I have to do by yelling in my head.

I guess Beta also kind of works with the armour because Boyfriend is making Halo armour too. And while I'm adamant at least in my head that I can't make his as well, I know mine will be the experiment. The one that has most of the mistakes happen because I'll figure something out, and then his will benefit from it. But I guess that's fine. Tex's armour can be the beta.

#firstbornproblems, or something.
ugh, hashtags.

Anyway. If it makes the entry any more amusing, I'd let you know that I put a box on my head this afternoon and actually felt really good about it. It was like some kind of security-helmet-thing. If this project doesn't turn me barmy, then I think it may end up propelling me through the other side of crazy. Ironfest is in three weeks and I haven't made anything.

I'm going to DIE.

Life lessons from Video Games and Anime.

I probably need to start this post by presenting you, the reader, with some important things. They aren't by themselves and of themselves of great importance, but they will make sense shortly.

It goes without saying that I am an avid gamer. It's pretty evident for my face-to-face mates, and probably traceable from the blog posts that exist so far. I'm into RPGs and puzzle games, but also a lot of the culture that comes with it. So, while I play games like Zelda and Final Fantasy, I also follow Red vs. Blue and understand a lot of the terminology that comes with the territory.

Like the bit where you don't give Caboose anything pointy, ever.

That aside, I actually spent a lot of my childhood during Christmas holidays playing Zelda. But not any other time of year, because it was our Aunts who lived in Queensland who owned the game.

By leaps and bounds and walkthroughs, we made it, and seven years after we started fiddling with the '64, we beat Ganon.

Well, Jack's file beat Ganon. It was a joint effort between him and myself.

So yeah. Ocarina of Time was kind of instrumental in how I see stories and the world and the characters. It was a little weird back in January when I realised the list of similarities between reality and Hyrule.

That can be saved for later.

But then.

Part of the whole Zelda thing is the fact that you, the protagonist, have to save the Princess and the Kingdom from the Evil Socerer and obtain the Triforce (magical thing that lets you do whatever the heck you want). But the push behind your character obtaining the Triforce, and the reason why the bad guy can't hold it, is because he is out of balance (and also evil.).

The Triforce splits and then he gets the third devoted to Power, which is what he has.

You, the player, get the bit that is for the guy with the most Courage, because obviously you have to be crazy brave or crazy stupid to fight giant spiders, dinosaurs, jellyfish, ghosts, dragons, more jelly creatures, more ghosts, witches and Big Bad himself.

The Princess (your girlfriend (or your sister, according to Jack)) gets the bit of the triforce with Wisdom. Probably because they need another thing to tie you and Big Bad and the Legend of Zelda, even though your character's name is Link.

So, Ganon just wants his Power bit and Zelda's Wisdom bit. And somehow you and Zelda beat him. Courage and Wisdom.

Courage and Wisdom.

Slightly monumental in how I see things. Because, well, not just the Triforce.

It takes Courage to go out and do something gutsy. But Wisdom kind of helps in making sure that you don't behave like a complete idiot when you do keep going. Power? Pfft. Power is good in getting you places. But I have found over time that, in keeping with Japanese RPGs and mute fairy boys, if you know what to do, all you need to do is be willing to stick your neck out and try.

And that's something that I wish I saw more of in the real world.

To keep trying. To pick yourself up and stand, even when everything else tells you that you should just lie down and die. To keep your heart in the centre of the maelstrom because there's every chance that if you stay, you can fix it.

This is especially important, because I spent a lot of my teenage years hiding mine and running away. When I wasn't trying to figure out how to interact with people who'd learned those skills back when they were eight.

Homeschooling has its ups and downs.

So yeah. Courage. Need it.

Wisdom. Need that too. I spend a lot of time with my feet in my mouth. Maybe not literally, but figuratively? Dude, if you want figurative I have three feet. It's ridiculous, and there's no excuse for it. So. Get Wisdom. It does miles of good.

What else?

Not Power.

Resolve.

I learned Resolve a little bit later down the track.

I mentioned Bleach a while back. You can read the synopsis there if you really want.

Part of the whole Bleach thing that I didn't mention in the post about the Giant Black Butterfly From Hell was how the protagonist has to go and rescue the girl and fight the Big Bad.

Sound familiar?

There's more drama and action and yelling in Bleach. And more blood. But, the thing that the protagonist has to learn before he saddles up and storms the fortress is that he would face up against things determined to bring him down. To kill him. And he had a duty there; to protect her. Save the girl from an execution, because she had saved him before. Protect her with the ability she'd given him.

I understand if it reads a little weird, or if it doesn't immediately make sense where all this is going just yet. I'll get there.

The guy who trains the protagonist teaches him the value of Resolve. Of deciding something and deciding it so strongly that your eyes glow and you gain the will to see this thing through.

So, it takes a certain setup to make one's eyes glow, and an even more careful one to make a human's eyes glow without causing permanent damage to them. But that's not really the point.

The point, and the value in learning Resolve, is that Ichigo, the protagonist, takes on an army of enemies. I'm including Squad 11 in there, for those who follow the series and want to get nitpicky. On just about every occasion he is only just able to defeat them; partially because it makes for a good story, partially because the Anime producers want you to tune in next week, and partially because he decides to get off his rear and do this thing.

Sometimes it's because Shiro rocks up. But Shiro will get a blog post later.

So, the series teaches the viewer/reader the importance of protecting what you hold dear (in Ichigo's case, it's pretty much always his friends. Unless he's sparring with his Dad.), and the value in Resolving to see something through. Because otherwise, nothing will change.

Like I mentioned in the other Post, Bleach didn't get discovered until I was in my final year of High School. But the idea of Resolve stuck, and stuck as well and as truly as the aforementioned Courage and Wisdom combo.

Because, when I started thinking about it, it takes Courage to stand up and grab your sword/item of a catalyst nature. It takes Wisdom to know what to do with that Sword. But it takes Resolve to hang onto it.

So go out. Be willing to do something, even when the odds seem poor. Don't do a half-assed job with something because you couldn't be bothered, or if it didn't resonate with you the way you wanted. Talk to people, whether or not you think that they're mad. Treasure what's around you, because chances are that you'll have to defend it at some point in time and not only will you want that thing you're protecting to be solid, but you'll want to be solid when you stand up. Start properly, and finish properly.

Be Courageous.

Be Wise with that Courage.

Be Resolute when you're being Wise with that Courage.

And something worthwhile might just happen.

Post-Portal rant

Hey Guys.

So, after acquiring Portal late last year (like, August/September/October [I downloaded a bit of the file at a time]), and then spending the next few months deciding to play it only after semester had finished, I finally sat down and gave it a go.

It follows that this blog post should be dedicated to what I thought of the game.

I started playing yesterday arvo, when it was discovered that the darling rabbit had eaten through the video cable for the PS2. Essentially, you would have the same amount of fun with it as someone with no sight. The audio cables were still intact, but my temper was not. So, I sat down in protest and hijacked my sister's desk so I could play Portal, because it was on my computer and I was still keen for some gaming.

The handling experience was quite different to anything I have tried before. First-person is usually something reserved for shoot-em-up games, and since I don't play a lot of those, I frankly stink at them. The most experience I could speak for would be the couple of weeks I spent playing LAN Halo on computers at school. Even then, I had all the tactical ability of Michael J. Caboose.

Which is not much.

So, we've established that I am much more used to the handling of games such as Zelda, Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy. Which are all good games in their own right. Franchises. Whatever. I think better when I can see the back of the character's head.

But the puzzles, and the physics! I've never seen something so wondrous! And Valve is paying me nothing. But the teleport/portal setup kept the physics and gravity intact. Flinging was a lot of fun, once you got the hang of it. Oh. Flinging?
Set up a portal on the wall. Set up a portal on the ground. Jump into the one on the ground and you fall out of the one on the wall at the same speed as you were falling. Fall faster or further, and you fling further.

<speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out>

according to GLaDOS. The passive-agressive evil robot.

But purely concerning the puzzles? It forced me to think. Not just grind through levels like every other game I try. Sure, there are moments when you're stuck, but the Block Puzzles I've done in Zelda and Golden Sun games are probably the closest 'large challenge'. Some of the stages were a matter of trying the same thing over and over again, because all you needed was some more momentum. Or you had to fire a portal in midair and for someone who can't drive first person video games, that is very hard. So, I get cranky. I yell at the screen, at GLaDOS, at the portal placement; anything. Talking to myself is my second-worst habit. (The worst is mumbling.) So, when my sister decided to talk to one of her mates last night, he also got to participate in my vented frustration at being unable to escape before getting incinerated. Or falling in the water. Portal device doesn't like the water. Just something you should note.

But, offsetting the cranky is the sheer exhilaration when finally, you manage to throw yourself in the right direction and land where you need to. Or you figure out where to stick the next portal. Or figure out how to use a gun when all you've got is an enemy missile launcher that only shoots at you and is five rooms away.

That is all okay. The sense of being rewarded at the end was greater than any lie-based cake that someone could cook up for me. I am Chell. And we are assuming the Party Escort Submission Position and going to that party.

(I realise how unstructured this post is. I also realise how weird 'party escort submission position' sounds to someone not familiar with Portal. it is lying down on the ground with your hands behind your head so the party escort robot can drag you away back into that incinerator I mentioned earlier.)

Told you GLaDOS was evil.

But not the cackling type of evil. It's like, passive aggressive to the max. And it's a lot of fun to imitate from time to time.

Once again, to someone unfamiliar with the series, this is bound to cause confusion.

I often find myself singing the lyrics to 'Want You Gone', which is from the Portal 2 soundtrack. It is the credits from the game. And, like the first, it is written from and sung by GLaDOS. So, passive agressive and mildly humorous. Prue tells me off for it though; citing that it is about 'someone hating someone else'.

But Prue, GLaDOS doesn't hate Chell. She only wants her gone.

See? This is what happens when you eat too much chocolate and spend your whole day being a taxi service and babysitter for your sisters. You write poorly-structured blog posts and spend the rest of the evening shooting nerf darts at the ceiling.

Well. It sounds good to me.

In short? Portal is spoon-bendingly awesome. It challenges the way you think in a game, and makes you use more than just the physical infrastructure of the platform. It has a good storyline which is enjoyable to some back to, which you will, because it's only a short game.

Also, I apologise to my other readers who may feel slightly alienated by the rambling and the specific nature of the blog post subject. Consider it a rant, and do with it what you want.

If you really want, you should give Portal a go. My laptop (herafter known as Shirosaki) handles it okay, so most other computers should be fine.